THE DIET

I have re-started my diet again.  I was pleased to know that I have only gained back 4lbs of the 12 that I had lost.  I am more ready now to accomplish this goal than before. 

After I lost my 12lbs I experienced some set backs.  Day 11, I was at work and boss lady decided she didn't like my answer to a question so she thought it was a good idea to slap me upside the head.  I haven't felt anger like that in a very long time.  I set it aside and tried to move on.  Then the following morning, I experienced a revelation.  I was not happy there.  I was going through the motions of the job.  I all the sudden became miserable.  Not good for someone who is an emotional eater.  When I am sad..I eat...when I am happy...I eat..When I am bored... I eat...well, you get the picture.  During these past two weeks, I have been looking for a change.  I called everyone I could think of to see if they were hiring.  Then I got a call from the person whom I REALLY wanted to work for.  She scheduled me an interview; the interview was going great, then she said the words that I thought was the deal breaker:  "How bad will (boss lady) hurt me if I hire you?"  I thought..wow...this is going to be harder than I thought.  Then I decided to tell her why I needed a new job.  She agreed that what she did was inapproiate.  She said she had a few more interviews and she would let me know by early next week (4/19-4/20).  Well, April 20th came and went.  Nothing...  So on 4/22/...back to craigslist I go..ahh..JPL (atty) was looking for a bankruptcy legal assistant.  YAY!  So, I sent them my resume and 15 minutes later I get a call.  Mr. L; "Are you still with (boss lady)?"  "Yes"  "why are you looking for new employment" .. "Well, I need to find something with benefits and a future"...  "Well, other attorney's don't really like to hire other attorney's assistants.  It is bad form and it can cause problems."  My first thought was.."What?"  The second was.."I'm stuck".  After that conversation, I was miserable.  I went to the bathroom...cried..then washed my face..and went back to work.  Then, a call...  "Corrie, I am here with (other atty) and we would like to offer you the job...If we can afford you."  I was shaking.  Could it be?  Am I really done here?  She quoted me the amount they were offering...I couldn't talk..I couldn't breathe...$5000 more a year than what I am making now???  plus benefits???  "Thank you soo much, I will be more than happy to except your offer and I looking forward to working for you."  In 10 minutes, my life was changed.  I had a job with a future, benefits, ...I had a grown up job.  No more getting hit...No more having to deal with temper tanturms, no more having to put up with her!  Just when I thought I was stuck..just when I thought I had no future...When I thought I was going to have to start over; Someone decided that I was worth the risk ..someone thought I was worth something.  Now it is time for me to believe it too.  No one is as hard on me as me.  I have been unhappy with myself for a while.  I realize that now.  I realize that no one has been "holding me down"  I have been holding myself down.  It starts with the weight; It will end with the weight.  I need to do this for me and for my son.  I am ready to do this....for real this time!