Well, day one is down and I lost 3.2lbs. It is nice looking down and the scale and seeing the numbers go down.
You know I am still not ready to admit to myself nor anyone else how much weight I need to lose. I think it is due to the fact that I am ashamed of myself for letting it get this bad. I blame myself for this. I should have taken the steps necessary to lose this weight years ago, but I think I was scared, but scared of what I am not exactly sure yet. Is it I am afraid that I would not be able to enjoy the food that has been apart of my life for so long? Is it because, I don't know who or what I am if I am thinner. I mean I like me. I just don't want to be a fat me. I know that being overweight does not make you who you are. Even if I drop the weight I know it won't change who I am, it will just change the way I feel and look. But the journey is a scary one. What if I fail? But I can't dwell on the what if's. I have to do this for me...for me. But with the help of www.affordable-weightloss.com, I can tell you I won't be alone and these folks are very supportive :) I just have to remember that I CAN do this. :) Happy Losing!!!
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